The Fish (I'm Coming Home)

I'm gonna tell ya 'bout Tanya Montana

Open your purse strings and she'll take your banana

Her heels almost as tall as her beehive hairdo

She holds up the sky when she walks like she do

With her yellow glitter sparkling and her purple lipstick shining

With her yellow glitter sparkling and her purple lipstick shining

With her purple lipstick shining and her yellow glitter sparkling

They call her...

the fish

I'm coming home...

(He's coming home...)

Lessons In Dressin'

It all dawned upon me clearly

Hitting me quite suddenly

That everyone but me has now gone crazy

Then I thought my God, no wonder I've been having difficulty

Choosing something suitable to wear

To each day carefully consider

With one's form and with one's figure

How well this one will work with the other

How will this combo be perceived

Did you see that, can you believe?

And don't forget: will it work with the weather

And then you must figure out

What tonight will be about

Sex or business, maybe both together

And when you're finally comfortable

Be it casual or formal or rock n' roll

Then something must be done about

the hair

When You Get Down

When you get down to fantasize

What kind of imagery hits your mind's eyes?

Is she blonde or brunette, is he black, bronze or white

Does he bathe in the sun, does she rise with the night?

Does he fuck like a lion or is he gentle and light

Perhaps it takes both to make you feel just right?

Gentleman, animal, powerful or mild

Do you lie there in his arms or do you both go wild?

Has she long hair or short, curly or straight ?

Is she bound for Badda Bing or is she stately and sweet?

Does she straddle your saddle and ride you like cattle?

While you boil her kettle by shaking her rattle?

Does she strip as she stands, does she slap your hands?

Does she come like she came from some exotic land?

Is he bald, is he bound, is he boldly big boned?

When you make him feel good don't he look like he's stoned?

Is he rough 'round the edges or clean as a whistle?

Does he blow like the bomb or does he cruise like the missile?

Has she got big bouncing boobs like balloons?

Built to burst from her blouse as you blow your bassoon?

Or perhaps you prefer the petite little breasts?

Shapely and warm and firm when caressed?

He brings you flowers and you talk for hours

There's foreplay to foreplay, there's hot and cold showers

Then in walks her mother, your fantasy's blown...

Or maybe it's only just begun?

 

Swappin' Spit

Every morning before school I tried to make myself look nice for you

You pushed everybody's buttons

With your exposed belly button

I never approached you or said a word

I wouldn't have dared I was much too scared

But when your boyfriend crashed his car

And you were thrown into my lawn...

It seemed a million miles from right

But that didn't stop us from swappin' spit that night That night...

No that didn't stop us from swappin' spit that night

Then came the day you caught the bouquet

With me standing right beside you

That look we exchanged was the most deranged

Just like the one we now exchange each morning on awakening...

It seemed a million miles from right

But that didn't stop us from swappin' spit that night

That night...

No that didn't stop us from swappin' spit that night

With the boy all grown up and locked up in Rikers

And our delicate daughter off with those bikers

I look at you now and I wonder how

You stay with me in this broken down shack even now

It seems a mile or two from right

But that wont stop us from swappin' spit tonight

Tonight...

No that won't stop us from swappin' spit tonight...

 

In My Dreams

When I was just a boy I had my own roller coaster

Built on to the roof of my parent's suburban house

When I got bored I would climb aboard it

Go 'round and around, and up and down

Sometimes that train would leap right off the tracks

And take me to the outer limits...

In my dreams...

I had my own house too

It was a lot like the Addams family's house

Every drawer was stuffed with money

And everything that happened there was funny

In my dreams...

You were trapped in a Victorian corset

And only I could free you from it

This happened pretty much every night

In my dreams...

 

all lyrics by Thomas Truax, copyright 2005